What seems like a long, long time…
years have a way of going by and then one day we find ourselves reflecting on some events that have taken place in our lives and we start trying to put things into perspective. The last few months have been filled with reflection. This week, I pulled out my bread machine, dusted it off some and filled it with all the ingredients needed to make a fresh batch of bread.
While I was doing this, I recalled a time when we were very active in our church and each year we would buy the edition of the “Daily Bread”, a devotional/daily testament of personal experiences in our church members lives. There was always touching and inspirational stories, and while I reflected…I thought how funny that my own personal experiences (of late), might be very worthy of a testimony for this little book.
Boo n I have (again), been making plans, imagining and attempting some changes for our future. While doing so, as always–we pray about it. GOD has always been a HUGE part of our decision making process. But I have to admit that along the way over the years- at times we start believing that we can do things on our own. By that I mean without consulting or seeking advice from those we love and trust. Shame on me (mainly)! My wonderful mom- (as I have posted before), is the most “faithful” being I know. I know that day and night she prays for all of us. But a huge burden that I felt was that what we (Boo n I) were going through, I had failed to talk to my mom about it, even when I had been able to be around her (twice last month) and talk to her often. But over the years, having moved away and raising our kids without family near us, we just figured we didn’t really need to count on anyone else but ourselves. Mainly I think, because unless you have lived away from your family, you don’t realize how difficult that really is. To be honest with you…IT IS! Even though we try to convince ourselves that it’s no big deal. I do a pretty good job of doing that- convincing myself that I can do anything, even not needing my family. (Hence, why I used to be good at keeping in touch with my sister [Di], who lives further away, I know how difficult things can be sometimes without anyone near. I’m ashamed to say, I haven’t done a good job of that either, lately). I will redeem myself sis!
But, after putting my batch of ingredients into the machine, I decided to follow my heart and call my mom. I shared with her what we were going through and I asked her to please pray for specifics and asked for her blessing. While I was sharing with her, there was a quiet pause and her response… “I knew that you were going through something and was wondering when you would open up (basically)”. She amazes me- and she ALWAYS KNOWS! But another amazing thing…I felt this weight, quietly lifted from within. And I really felt that with her confirmation and prayers, everything will be just fine. I know that! And I know that not just because I believe, but because she has taught me that over the course of my life.
Just like I reached for the bread machine, dusted it and trusted that it would make something good and wonderful by adding the ingredients it needed, we too have to dust ourselves of the layers of self-doubt and the barriers we setup in our own lives. We need to trust that by adding all the ingredients, such as: prayer, trust and guidance, that we too can make something good and wonderful of our lives.
There have been a lot of lessons through this trial. But, I have also been reminded that we can’t do ALL things alone. I have to reach out to my family more, trust and continue to have faith that through GOD all things ARE possible.