The last few days I have spent with my sweet girl. I find myself staring at the beautiful lady she has grown up to be and I can’t keep from grinning from ear to ear. She is just remarkable!
When I was pregnant with her, I told my doctor that I wanted nothing more than to try to have her naturally, (her brother was caesarean ‘n quite large). I went month after month to my checkups and he worked so hard with me and encouraged me to believe that I could have her naturally. Back in the early ’80’s not many deliveries were natural after a C-section, but he was totally optimistic and so was I. I tried not to gain the weight I did with Bubs and really watched what I ate and walked and stretched each day. Well, I was able to have her naturally as I had wanted and she was a GIRL! How I beamed with excitement because I had been told she was a boy so a girl was very unexpected. But when my husband confirmed that she was a girl after I awoke from the anesthesia, all I could think of was a GIRL! I remember so distinctly her smell when they placed her on my chest the very first time. And each time I look at her and see her beauty, I see ‘n smell that beautiful little girl that is my very own. How I love her!
When her and her brother were small, I stayed home with them, and that will always be the “best time of my life” without a doubt. Nothing can top being a mommy, being needed and the love (that enormous love that comes from just knowing that they are a part of you and they are incredible)! I spent each day playing and planning what we would do and made sure they had fun and were creative.
Now all too often, I’m sure due to getting older as well, I long for simpler days when we could all be together and spend time with one another more than what we do. But I am very thankful for what I get. I treasure the time I get to spend with her, the person she has become, (better than my wildest dreams of all the things I wished for her when I held her in my arms that very first time), her independence, her love of children, her sensitivity to others, and her creativity. She is amazing. I find myself hoping that over the years she has come to realize just how much she means to me, how the love I have for her is beyond anything I could possibly ever put into words, and that regardless of distance or age. Also, wondering if SHE knows how much I love her???
She will always be my beautiful little baby doll!
I love you darling girl!!!